If You Want Blood...

something's gonna happen to make your whole life better

2006-05-25T15:15:00.000+10:00

I think this probably would be quite at home on Preston's blog.

The Paltry Poultry Monologues

I like to think of it as euthanasia.

lo and behold, here's my bloody girder

2006-05-02T11:58:00.000+10:00

Some dero next door played deathmetal all night, it was the aural equivalent of being hit in the ear with an icepick. I guess living in the Western suburbs is as good as asking for it, though.

ooh la la

2006-05-01T11:22:00.000+10:00

Years of cartoon watching have taught me that when one is ambling along happily in the sunshine, whistling tunefully, it is a cue for a large steel girder to appear out of the sky and flatten you.

we have all the time in the world

2006-04-28T14:00:00.000+10:00

I was recently invited to join the Eltham RSL bowling club, though the fact that I am no longer a resident of Eltham has put something of a spanner in the bowls works. So to speak.

But the names, oh my the names!

every fucking city

2006-04-28T13:57:00.000+10:00

The brother and I have been catching sharks. The hammerhead we had to throw back, I'm pretty sure they're protected, plus it was only a little tacker. Good fun to look at nevertheless.

We once caught a very big gummy shark and kept it (partly because we accidentally gaffed it through the gills). Unfortunately I died too quickly and we didn't bleed it well enough so it tasted awful. We dropped the rest of the 5 foot carcass at the tip (mind this is back in the days when you could do whatever the hell you wanted at the tip, including disposing of conspicuous shark carcasses). Anywho, this little stumble down memory lane does have a point, and that is that I got to wondering what happens to the bodies of dead sea life?

I've spent enough time stomping around Fort Island and Mud Island to know that the birds tend to head for land before they cark it. And I assume most of the fish down the bottom of the food chain get chomped before old age gets them, but what about the real predators? I have seen a couple of whale bodies washed up around Rye, but did they die naturally or did they die from becomming beached? And what about things like sharks and rays, seals, giant octopus (there's another story of a failed culinary quest resulting in a trip to the tip) and squid?

There's a pretty significant amount of sea life swanning around world's waterways. Must end up somewhere.

Just curious is all.

kiss the dirt

2005-12-13T10:24:00.000+11:00

It's times like this that I look to Daryl Braithwaite lyrics for solace; that's the way it's gonna be lil' darling...if you fall, I'll pick you up, pick you up.

I am somwhat saddened, but it is a bittersweet feeling, I am sad to see my old mate go but also happy and thankful for all the fun (and smelly) times we had together.

Here is his former home, just moments before his final exhumation. I know it doesn't look like much, but they do say a man's home is his castle and that must work in a similar way for pieces of rotting pork.

I said my final goodbyes, fondly recalling our joint adventures this semester. Alas, I hadn't learned any dirges on my bugle in time for the funeral and the hired mourners failed to show.

So, for the final time I lifted the old boy out of the ground. And I don't know if it was the sweet night time air, or something to do with my olfactory glands but Preston didn't smell at all! Could this be the miracle we've all been waiting for? I always knew he was a special pig.

Again, a big thank you to my mum, for photographic duties and general emotional and metal support.

Though I did ask her to take tasteful photos, this one seems hardly appropriate for Preston's final farewell.

Here he is being transferred into our 'green' bin, in Eltham we operate on the GRO 3 bin system, and you get in very big trouble if you put things into the wrong bin.

This is what 5kg of pig head has become, I miss his little piggy eyes!

Some close ups...there was stil an incredible amount of ants scurrying about, they have formed quite a bond with my boy.

And it was good to see that Preston's potato compainion was joining him in this final stage of his journey as I know it.

And finally, a really retarded looking shot of me, closing the lid on this one.

No more preston, so I guess that spells the end of this blog. Unless I decide to bury some other critter, not as unlikely as one might think!

So it is goodbye for now and thanks to everyone who has shared this very special experience with me, it has truly been...well, something, that's for sure.

Safe and happy holidays for all,
Katie.

end is nigh

2005-12-04T21:07:00.000+11:00

Yep, soon all of the heartache will end.

Perhaps tomorrow.
If I have time.

I wish I could play the bugle, it would create a bit of atmosphere.
A bit like in Breaker Morrant. Preston deserves it.
If Chris was home I'd get him to play some dramatic concerto, Preston would like that, I think. We don't talk much anymore.

And hello to Kim! I hope you are not too disturbed, just think, it cannot be worse than the Harrold from New Zealand story, or that awful thing we did at Werribee Zoo! (or that bizarre poo story Josh kept talking about at Daves place, what was that all about?).

Here are some raspberries I grew very near to Preston, is he the one responsible for this bumper crop?
Maybe.

Appologies for going wild with the font today, what can I say, I am living on the edge.

kids on holiday

2005-11-16T14:31:00.000+11:00

Righto.

Yes, it's the post we've all been waiting for. After a month long wait, I have finally paid the old boy Preston a visit...

...things were not at all as I had expected...

Oh my, the smell!

I cannot even find words for it, but again I look to my favourite childhood film, The Labyrinth, for help. I never understood how the smell from the 'bog of eternal stench' (clever name, yes?) could be all that bad, let alone that it could never be washed off. Alas, too late I have learned that the bog was possibly just a few fermenting pieces of pork.

I accidentally spalshed a bit of Preston onto my hand and have not been able to rid my paw of the offending smell since. I have tried everything, lemon and salt (gets rid of garlic no problems), hot water and solvol, soap, bi carb, turps, it is getting to the point where I am seriously considering amputation. Will I ever be able to venture out in public with bare hands again? Or will I be forced into the glove wearing life of Michael Jackson? But only with the one glove thing, mind you. None of that child molestering or plastic surgery for me thanks.

Jokes aside, I am quite distressed about this.
Plus my photos are taking a rather long time to upload.

Okay, here we go again...

Shaking off some dirt, I like it how Preston disguises himself so well, you'd hardly know he's there if it wasn't for the smell.

As promised, I chopped into the poor bugger with the spade. The results were not pretty and possibly speak for themselves.

I got in for a closer inspection, in retrospect this may have been a mistake.

This is what my dear piggy friend had become.
Interestingly enough, the fat seemed to still be very white, it seemed almost rendered somehow which was something I hadn't expected at all.

The smell was also something unexpected, I honestly thought that in the past month it would have diminished, not increased.

So, it was back in the hole for Preston, for at least a few more weeks, must throw him out properly before we move though.

Here's a potato who joined Preston in the soil. It's nice that he'll have a companion. Though I did somewhat destroy him, I think I managed to serparate his skull into 4 main pieces and even got a good glimpse of his chompers (teeth), unfortunately my stomach (previously thought to be made of steel) just couldn't take it.

Overall I was pretty happy with the results, mind this was before I discovered my hand had been contaminated.

Farewell old boy!

Well, I know a lot of you had been waiting for this for quite a while, I hope it lived up to expectations.

Oh, and a note to Soumitri-if you read this, just letting you know I have signed the forms and if you want any better images, let me know because these have all been cropped and I have all of the originals on my computer.

Hope everyone is enjoying the free life!
Katie (and Preston)

The Poo Bucket

2005-11-09T23:04:00.000+11:00

I all-of-a-sudden remembered why all of this maggot business seemed so familiar.

You see, dear reader, there used to be a poo bucket in my back yard, right near Preston's place of residence in fact.

That’s right, we had a bucket full of faecal matter in our yard.

I’ll try to justify it instead of just passing it off as insanity.

So, we have chickens, and one thing about chooks that your average Joe may not be aware of is that chooks tend to poo a lot. Bear with me, we are getting somewhat closer to something that may, or may not, resemble a point. All of us green thumbs are well aware of how good manure is for your garden, particularly vegetable gardens. Well, we had the chickens, we had the poo, we had the vegie garden, the next logical step could only be to unite the tree together in horticultural harmony! To do this, we decided to start collecting all of the chicken poo in this big industrial bucket, so for a few months over winter the bucket quite innocently sat in a corner of our yard, slowly filling with poo The problem was that, as winter turned to spring and then spring into summer, a staggering number of flies were attracted to the poo bucket and the flies, simply doing as nature intended, laid their eggs in the poo bucket.

Over time (and thanks to the warm weather) the eggs hatched and so we not only had a poo bucket, but there were a rather alarming number of maggots swimming around in the poo bucket. Now here’s where it becomes something of an issue (because it was obviously totally fine before), because the maggots are NOT good for the garden and the whole purpose of the poo bucket was to benefit the garden so basically, our bucket of poo, months in the making, was defeated by a few common flies.

The moral of this tale? Well, I wouldn’t touch that one with a ten foot pole, but I will say this; buckets of poo are nothing to take lightly and can very easily get out of one’s control.

Beware I say, beware.

It is a real shame I have no photos of this. But here are some of Preston's maggot mates to give you an idea.

Paper Preston

2005-11-06T21:33:00.000+11:00

Excuse my ugly carpet, I had to take this photo at our beach house as I feared paper Preston would not survive the move to the new house. Possibly removalists would not feel as protective of him as I do?

This is an artistic representation of our favourite chunk or rotting pork. It gladdens my heart somewhat t0 see Preston immortalised in white card (every industrial designer's best friend). I made the maggots out of some dough I whipped up, I knew my love of all things baking would come to a good use one day.

Way Beyond Our Means

2005-10-25T20:46:00.000+10:00

Hmm, I just did the whole 'post comments' bit and then went on something of an impromptu 'Preston hiatus'. It doesn't seem particularly fair on my behalf. Sorry. Good news is that I now have a new home, bad news is that Preston shall not be making the transition into that elusive 'zone 1' location with me! What will life be like without a rotting pig's head? Possibly not a whole heap of fun. Some time this week I will post some pictures, I am seriously considering opening up Preston, I mean I'm sorely tempted to just chop him open with the spade. Just to see what's been going on inside. Like, is his brain still there, or has someone (I suspicion that worm I found in his eye) made a meal out of it? Are there still any maggots wrigging around inside? These are all valid and terribly important questions that I will be answering shortly, maybe.

In the meantime, here he is, back in his heyday, former glory etc.

Took the words right out of my mouth...

2005-10-15T16:16:00.000+10:00

It has come to my attention that a lot of people have been frequenting my blog.

Apparently my friend Preston has become rather notorious.

This is good.
But please feel free to post comments.
Feedback is good.
I would appreciate it.

Cheers,
Love from Katie.

it's only forever, not long at all

2005-10-10T15:50:00.000+10:00

EXHUMATIONIO NUMERO 4

07/10/05 (yeah, I know, I'm getting a bit slack with my 'weekly' updates)

Preston's certainly getting to grips with his new abode.
And although I feel bad saying it, digging up the old boy is becoming less and less fun each week. He's hardly the pig he used to be and frankly, I sort of miss the old, pink, fleshy, maggot-free Preston.

Here he is, every week, he seems to be poking out of the ground. Doesn't seem to matter how well I bury him. I have, until now, been protecting him with a bucket but shall forgo that procedure from here on.

Before I post the money shots, I have to confess that Preston really stinks. Not just a bit of rotting flesh odour, I mean, it's very near unbearable. It's the putrid, rank, sickly sweet smell that burns your throat and makes your eyes water. There are not even words to describe it, really, it was abominable.

Smell, or no smell, Preston is starting to look pretty unhealthy. I don't think it's clear in these photos, but the majority of maggots have moved onto greener pastures, so to speak, and have been replaced by hundreds, maybe thousands, of ants. It is a veritable colony of the little guys. I didn't realise ants were so attracted to rotting flesh. Maybe deep under every anthill there is a rotting body? Maybe?

Here's a charming close up, perhaps not Preston's best angle, he has definitely been busy liquefying since I last checked up on him.

I very tentatively poked around with the shovel, just to see what was under all the dirt and it does seem like a lot of the flesh is gone. I could distinctly feel bone where there was once flesh. Here you can see I accidentally dislodged a piece of Preston, I believe it was a bit of his snout.

Just in case you couldn't quite see it in the last image, here's something of a close up!

So, now for something of a conclusion.
Preston smells very badly, he seems to be rotting away and decomposing quite well and relatively quickly. I am not yet sure how much longer I will keep this up for, maybe he's only got one or two more weeks left. Maybe I only have it in me for one or two more weeks. Only time will tell.
Hope this week's instalment has not unsettled too many stomachs, and tune in again soon. Eventually I will actually get around to posting what the Preston project is really trying to achieve. One day!

And behold, a white horse...

2005-09-30T12:09:00.000+10:00

The Man Comes Around
Week 4 Commences

Preston's 3rd Exhumation (took place a little late due to weather, 27/9/05)

One of the problems I've found is that I can only burry Preston so deep in the vegie garden, any deeper and it's just solid clay instead of soil. And although the soil is deeper enough to completely cover Preston, each week (and I'm guessing this is due to rain) a bit of him, be it ear, snout or neck, is poking up out of the soil. So to prevent some animal from coming and eating him, I have covered Preston's grave with a bucket and fence.

Here you can see how no matter how well I cover him, Preston seems intent on popping up out of the ground.

The difference from last week until now is astonishing. I mean, in comparisson to this most recent exhumation, you could have dusted him off and cooked him last time. Here he is in all his porky glory.

As I lifted him out of the ground one of his ears became dislodged, it didn't quite fall off but there's not a whole lot left keeping it connected. Here you can see Preston's 'better' ear, one of the main differences between last week and now is the maggots, I don't know where they've all come from but they are EVERYWHERE!

Here is another maggot close up. They really don't seem to like being disturbed, they all squirm around and wriggle out of their little hidey holes. I would hate to open up Preston's head, imagine the colonies of maggots in his mouth and snout!

Here I have circled some of the most concentrated areas of maggot infestation. I made the executive decision to forgo the weighing from now on. I just don't want to get that intimate with this 'thing' that my dear friend Preston has become.

This is where Preston's eye once resided...

Now it is inhabited by this little guy. Yes, a worm has taken over Preston's eyesocket as it's home.

This was a pretty quick inspection. Though again, I did have a tentative sniff and am pleased to report that, although rather frightening in other aspects, Preston doesn't seem to smell all that bad, certainly not much worse than last week.

Adios amigo!

As a side note, I have decided that once I am done with Preston, I will present him to my chickens and let them peck out all the maggots and bugs, this will be mutually beneficial as they'll get a nice meal and I won't be putting all those bugs into the bin (I don't think the people who have bought our house would really appreciate it if I left Preston for them as a house warming gift).

Black Market Baby

2005-09-26T18:47:00.000+10:00

I'm not sure how well I considered this whole 'burying-a-pig's-head-in-my-vegie-garden' idea before just ploughing on ahead with it.

For example, did I ever think it might get a bit too 'yuck'? Well, no, no I didn't. And that's probably for the best because things have gotten pretty bloody ugly since last week. I would not call myself squeamish, not at all, I've seen my fair share of flystruck sheep, gutted more fish than I could ever count, I've seen dead calves pulled out of a cow with chains and sure, some of it was pretty unpleasant but I was sort of okay with it.

And yet somehow I feel like maybe I'm losing my resolve to dig up a rotting pig's head.

But maybe this is the problem, it isn't just a pig's head, not just any old pig's head, as bizarre as it is to admit, I have grown somewhat attached to old Preston. Is that so unnatural?

Maybe. Who's to say?

Preston update (as in pictures) soon.

You want progress, you can't handle progress!

2005-09-18T14:06:00.000+10:00

I give the warning I started this blog with, again.

If you are a staunch vegetarian or simply have a weak stomach, you may not wish to continue perusing this post. It contains graphic images that some may find distressing.

EXHUMATION NUMBER 2

And it was with a small delay that I started week 3 of The Preston Project.
Heavy rains on Saturday prevented any exhumation so this weeks results are a week late. I have not yet decided if next week I will do the updigging on Saturday (making it a six day week) or on Sunday (a full week).

Regardless of future weeks, this one was most productive.

Rain, and lots of it, had exposed some of Preston. Perhaps his grave is too shallow? I shan't be making it deeper for this experiment, however it is something to keep in mind should I ever embark on this kind of 'journey' again.

The exposed parts looked pretty similar to last week. A bit dry, but no real signs of decomposition.

How wrong I was!

Maggots! Yes, Preston has now become his very own maggot farm and I am so proud. The difference between this week's progress and last week's is astounding.

Here is a close up of the little guys. They were none too happy about being dug up and wriggled around in disgust. Flies were also quickly attracted to Preston and I very tentatively gave him a sniff to see what all the fuss was about. There it was, unmistakably, the sickly sweet smell of rotting meat, faint still, but it was there. Could this be considered a small victory?

Here is a close up of Preston's inner ear, looking very oozy and juicy and generally a bit yuck. If I thought touching him last week was bad, this week was nothing short of stomach turning as he was much more wobbly and squishy, not to mention smelly and maggot infested.

And the weekly weigh in came up as 5.6kg, still putting on weight. It must be all the dirt sticking to him. Hopefully Preston's weight will soon start to decrease as decomposition progresses.

And it's back in the hole (to quote a rather nice Hunters and Collectors song) for old Preston.
Bon Voyage, God speed and see you next week.

Preston Faces Eviction!

2005-09-14T12:58:00.000+10:00

We're currently in the process of selling our property so we have recently been having lots of real estate agents swanning around in their Armani suits and Italian silk ties, clicking their tongues at this, nodding their heads at that and just generally making us all a little bit self conscious. So, the upshot of this is that their head honcho, Peter, asked, amongst other things, if we could remove the bits of chicken wire from the vegie garden and just generally neaten it up a bit.

REMOVE THE CHICKEN WIRE!!!

I think not, Peter, I think not.

So now our real estate men know, along with all of you, my dirty little secret...Preston; mellowing, yellowing and moldering away. The poor real estate men did seem somewhat flabbergasted when I divulged the truth to them, I don't think they quite knew what to say.

So Preston lives to fight another week, but for a moment there it was touch and go.

10/09/05 Week 2 Begins

2005-09-11T12:47:00.000+10:00

D-day, the second coming, day of reckoning, whatever you want to call it, it's here.

EXHUMATION No 1
So I donned some latex gloves, pulled out the shovel, prepped a plastic bag and scales for weighing and steeled my nerves (not to mention my stomach) as I prepared for the worst.

HYPOTHESIS-well, going on all of the crime shows I've seen on TV where bodies buried in a shallow grave produce a rather foul stench after just a few days and a corpse's skin is eaten away by maggots and then some exotic and rare larvae crawls out of said corpse's nose, it's fair to say I had pretty high expectations of some serious smelliness and rot. Especially considering all of the warm, damp weather we've had the past week.

REALITY-somewhat less exciting than anticipated.

The grave itself looked pretty much the same as it had a week ago, the soil a little more compacted, I guess due to rainfall.

One positive result of the exhumation was the success of my 'mesh sieve' quick unearthing method. Being able to simply pull the wire mesh out and shake the soil away meant I didn't have to risk using the shovel, which I could potentially spear Preston with. Here he is, freshly exhumed.

As you can see, there was very minimal change in his appearance. I had a tentative little sniff and he didn't really smell any more than he had upon purchase.

I dusted of as much of the soil as possible, though the latex gloves didn't feel like much of a barrier between me and the rotting pig flesh. I flicked back his ear to see if anything had happened in this moist, waxy area but there was only a sort of white mould. This mould had also formed on other exposed areas such as where his neck was severed from his body and around the snout. I guess this is due to the extra moisture in these areas, the thick skin showed no change; clearly it was a good barrier to the elements. Circled here are the main areas of mould growth.

Here is a close up look at some of the snout mould, moisture and existing bacteria around the mouth proved a fertile ground for mould formation.

Although I had high expectations for bugs and maggots, their presence was negligent. There were a few small ant-like insects and once Preston had been dug up a few flies showed interest but there was no evidence of maggots. The only other critter I saw was this worm who I can only assume was just passing by as there was no decomposed matter (from Preston) for the worm to eat.

Preston weighed in at 5.4kg, a little more than last week; I assume this extra weight was due to the soil stuck to Preston, so no real change in weight. Here Preston is placed back in his grave.

And buried, for the second time.

Tune in again, for next week's update.

Catching up on lost time...

2005-09-11T12:26:00.000+10:00

Alright, so a week has passed and yesterday was the day of the great exhumation. However, before I get to documenting that, I should really finish up last weeks adventures.

Before burial, Preston was weighed and came in at a whopping 5.3kg! That makes him less than $1 per kilo. Each week he will be weighed, I guess to see how much water and flesh he loses through decomposition, but also because I'm rather interested to see what the figures will be, they may turn out to be completely useless, who knows?

So, more phtots from 03/09/05

Dust To Dust-Here I am beginning to shovel soil over Preston, we had planned to hire mourners for theatric value however, no one seemed all that keen.

I got quite emotional as Preston's beady, little, piggy eyes were obscured by soil, well, taht or the fact that I finally had a decent occasion to wear my gumboots again (who could forget the fateful trip to Ceres or tree planting in Craigieburn!).

Many thanks to my mother for help with photography as well as allowing me to burry a pig's head in her vegetable garden.

The fresh grave.

And a biohazard sign/loving tribute to Preston to help mark the spot.

Rise of the Black Death

2005-09-10T17:38:00.000+10:00

I am sick.
I think I might be dying.
I looked my symptoms up on the internet and it turns out that I have the bubonic plague, which is unfortunate seeing as it was previously believed to be eradicated. Another internet site told me that if I take vitamin E, cod liver oil and acupuncture while walking on hot coal prior to sleeping naked under the next full moon, I will get better. My Doctor says that it is just a cold and to stop crying like a little bitch. My doctor also said that half of Melbourne has a cold to which I replied "maybe I should stop kissing half of Melbourne".

Anywho, the upshot of all this is that my general dissatisfaction with the world at large has resulted in blogging discipline as slack as 5 year old undies elastic.

'Preston' update soon, I think the recent spell of warm weather will prove to be quite advantageous to the decomposition process.

Qu'est-ce que c'est?

2005-09-06T21:41:00.000+10:00

So, what is it really all about?

I think uni is a really great time/place/experience to sort of take what you're given and make it work to your parameters. In our case, I guess that means taking a class or a brief and twisting it to fit what we want it to be, making it a little crazy, pushing it further, pushing it too far-if that's at all possible. I don't think I'll ever really be in this situation again, where I can justify burrying a pig's head in my back yard as an integral part of my learning experience as a designer. So I'm going to do my damndest to grab this opportunity with both hands and shake the little bastard until the red juices come out.

I didn't get very far in explaining the actual premise behind 'Preston' in this post, rambling could prove to be something of a problem with this whole 'blogging' game. Next time, next time.

And until next time, may the pork be with you.

Happy Snaps

2005-09-05T19:42:00.000+10:00

Market Fresh-this is Preston as he came into my life, a bargain at $5.

Home Sweet Home-this is the site of Preston's new residence.

Evicted-this wee fellow was found squatting in Preston's new crib, he was promptly fed to the chooks.

Settling In-Preston gets comfy in his new home, not too comfy though as he'll be exhumed in a weeks time and each consequent week hereafter.

Bend Your Knees...Katie

2005-09-05T18:59:00.000+10:00

I've done a few odd things in my time, this is most likely one of them.

Welcome, please remove your shoes...

2005-09-04T15:48:00.000+10:00

Hello weary web-traveler,
And welcome to the Preston the Pig Project.
A little morbid, a little controversial, if you have a weak stomach or are a staunch vegetarian, I suggest you turn back, or to quote the talking walls in the movie Labyrinth "Go back, go back while you still can! Take heed, and go no further. This is not the way!".
In all seriousness, some of the images and ideas presented in this blog are quite confronting and it should be kept in mind that the author is conducting this experiment with the fundamental purpose of learning at its core. Learning is an experience that comes in many forms, one of which may be a rotting pigs head, and the author, that is-Katie, apologises in advance for any social, ethical or moral issues and objections this raises. If you have any concerns, questions, want to know more or just want to have a go at me, please don't hesitate to post a comment or email me.